No one will read this, so I’ll just pour my heart out.

I hate myself.

I hate the way I think, I hate the way I look, I hate the way I sound when I talk, I hate the decisions i’ve made, I hate the mistakes that i’ve made.

I hate that i’ve hurt people, I hate that people hurt me.

I hate the person that i’ve become.

You know those times when you feel alone, and like nobody cares? I feel like that all the time. Every single day, and the feeling just doesn’t go away. Truth is, i’ll probably always feel this way. I can blame it on the women that have broken my heart multiple times and have left me hopeless and defeated, but in the end, I won’t be able to blame anyone but myself. I let these things happen to me, and it’s shaped me into who I am today.

 I think it’s safe to say, i’d rather not be this way.

I struggle to find a solution to my problems, but until that day comes, i’ll just keep numbing myself and trying to forget the constant pain that i’m in, the things that i’ve done, and the things people have done to me.

A hopeless romantic. That’s what I am.

In this day and age, being faithful is hard. It’s especially hard to find someone else who is just as faithful as I. So, i’ve tried and tried to be the best person I possibly can be, to every woman that I date, but in the end it’s always me that gets hurt and apologising when I shouldn’t even be apologising in the first place.

I’ve accepted the fact that I may never find a “true love”. It’s just hard to get by when you thrive on love.

I’m depressed.

 Maybe i’m lonely, or maybe I just need some kind of hope…